Fashion never stops. Not a single moment to breathe, to rest, to set your ideas. Taking a moment for yourself is taking the risk to lose ground, to be overtaken by events, to be forgotten or even worse, to become has-been. That's the way it is, at every level, from top designers ( look at Raf Simons who left Dior to have time to create, to find inspiration, to focus on his namesake brand) to humble bloggers just like us. One day without anything on our blog or on Instagram is taking the risk to lose audience. Fashion is exhausting but this is, at the same time, so exciting, so exhilarating. Fortunately.
The frantic pace of the Fashionsphere is not the only thing tiring me these days. Have you noticed how many rumours about fashion are spread every month, every week? Not a single week without a "breaking news" about some designer replacing Raf Simons at Dior. The most recent example was Jonathan Saunders who was said to have signed with LVMH. This news was even enthusiastically emphasized by some media that thought clever to confirm even before the über-powerful group. And of course, this proved to be a fake. One more in an ocean of misinformation, of desperate attempts to drag people to their websites, to click and click again for a disappointing result. So what's next? Who will spread the next hot rumour that will excite & put the Fashion world into another trance? Who will be cynic enough?
However, cynicism is not the only "quality" you need to have to spread a good and effective rumour. Above all, you need to be lazy. This is so much easier to write about some would-be stuff than writing about real fashion, the genuine one, the intriguing one unraveling before our eyes. We are experiencing weird times when an easy way out is much more profitable than hard work & good words. A bit like all the things going on with this "Amazing Kardashian/Jenner Family". Much more easier to write about them, their outfits and their existential problems than talking about deserving artists & designers. Money makes this system works, I get it, I am not an idealist but it is sometimes painful to see what people/media are ready/able to do in order to increase their traffic, their sales, their exposure. I'd love to have a wider audience for W.A.R.M. (who wouldn't?) but I am not ready to do anything and especially to write about things I don't believe in & truly love.
Rumour is easy. It costs no money, spreads at great speed and it nearly always sells. So let's have an overview of the most recent Fashion rumours.
- Karl Lagerfeld would leave Chanel after his Cruise 2017 collection in Cuba.
Do you really believe in this one? A big joke!
Kaiser Karl once said that "for [him] working was like breathing and if [he] do[es]n't breathe, then something is going wrong". Perhaps people are tired of those Dior rumours so they've found a brand new scapegoat, a brand new monument to target. Please guys, leave Fashion gods alone! And above all, don't even think about making up a crazy story about Miuccia Prada. Some persons on this Earth deserve respect. R-E-S-P-E-C-T you know this notion people tend to forget about?! And frankly, a sentence with both "Lagerfeld" and "retirement" would sound so so weird?
- Hedi Slimane would start his own label after being spotted in Qatar.
Perhaps. After all, this may be the least stupid rumour in a while. Yet, let's just wait. Fashion crowd is so obsessed with Slimane getting his own namesake label that every occasion to speculate about it is worthy. I once spotted Lil Kim in Qatar too and yet, no mention of a Lil Kim fashion brand... So sad... Just kidding. Beware, if you see once Hedi Slimane visiting North Pole, he would undoubtedly start some frozen food business... Perhaps he was just visiting Qatar to get some tickets for the 2022 Soccer World Cup! You see I'm not that bad at inventing stupid news.
And last but not least, my favourite one!
- Raf Simons would replace Francisco Costa & Italo Zuccheli at the head of Calvin Klein.
The Raf Simons topic is just as burning as the Hedi Slimane one. They have an extraordinary aura and their power of attraction knows no limits at all. Simons's departure from Dior was a total shock and ever since, LVMH have found it hard to find him a proper successor (don't worry Jonathan Saunders is coming!). Ok, now, Raf Simons is happy with his eponymous label but people are hungry for more. Two menswear collections per year is not enough for them so what's best than fantasizing about him coming to Calvin Klein for both menswear & womenswear? I agree that his aesthetics would perfectly match the US giant's ones but let's be honest, do you really think that he would have left Dior to join Calvin Klein? Let's all remember that he wanted more time to live, visit exhibitions & create. Not sure he will be able to do so if he embarks on such an adventure! And if it is eventually the case, people at LVMH will be seriously pissed off.
So now we are all familiar with fashion rumours, let's invent some! Please always keep in mind that the most ludicrous one will be the most read, talked about, clicked on, shared. Time to be stupid guys!
- The next hot fashion collab would be H&M X Zara.
- Demna Gvasalia doesn't really exist, it's just a hologram invented by Martin Margiela.
- Donald (Duck not Trump) is suing Olivier Rousteing because he is the one who invented the duck face.
- The new face of Supreme would be Diana Ross because after all, she is the most Supreme of all the Supremes.
- Marketing people are working on a brand new & exciting project: "See Never, Buy Now". Exciting, isn't it?
- People at Coachella are not here to listen to music but to show their own vision of the Folk/Bohemian/Ethnic trend. Wait, that's not a rumour...
All the gifs come from Tumblr
Words by Charles Margueritte